Support What is it and why do we need it? By Wendy Pickess

“None of you are leaving here this evening until you have arranged to meet up.” This instruction from our antenatal teacher is what forced a group of five women who had only just met and had nothing much in common except their bumps to meet for lunch just a few days later. At the time, I had no idea how significant this group would be and how valuable would be their support, care and friendship over the next few weeks, months and years.
Informal support networks can form in many different ways, but almost all parents agree that they play a vital role, particularly when their children are young.
Those who are able to keep in touch with people they met around the time of the birth of their baby often consider themselves very lucky. One mum said: “It was great to be able to meet up and swap stories about everything from sleeping and feeding to vaccinations and health with others who were genuinely interested. It saved me boring my other friends who didn’t have children and wouldn’t have understood.” Another said: “Since having my second son, I have joined the NCT. I did it mostly for the social side of things as I was finding I was never going out and just needed something to occupy my mind a bit.” A third said: “Support networks were and still are very important for me as a mum of three young children... However fantastic it may be having children, the days can seem very long, especially on lack of sleep... the stresses, tantrums and worries all seem so much less significant if you can laugh and share them with others... It puts it all in perspective and stops you going crazy.” In essence, this is what all successful support networks offer and explains why they are so important.
It can be more difficult for parents to build up a new support network once a baby is born. Mothers, in particular, may feel isolated having lost the social contact they had with colleagues at work and possibly lost the desire (temporarily at least) to keep in touch with other friends with different priorities.
Getting out of the house is essential.
Post-natal groups run by health visitors can be a good place to start. There are a number of these run in Worcester and your health visitor will be able to give you times and dates. They offer a room full of mothers with new babies willing to share experiences and ideas - as well as providing professional advice in an informal setting if needed. Toddler groups have an important role to play, too – they are less formal than more organised activities (such as music classes, swimming or gym activities) and crucially offer plenty of time for drinking coffee and chatting. If possible, go to a group near your home so that you meet people that you are likely to be able to see again. It can be daunting going to a toddler group for the first time (most parents admit this) but it’s definitely worth persevering. In general the more involved you get with a group, the more people you are likely to get to know so volunteering to help out at a toddler group can be a good idea – the organisers will always be grateful for any offer of help, no matter how small.

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Info depot

Both the NHS and the Worcester and Droitwich branch of the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) run antenatal classes locally. In addition the NCT holds coffee mornings and organises other toddler activities – all of which are open to members and non-members.

For more information,
email worcester_nct@hotmail.com or telephone 07005 805531.

The Stats!
New research from a Johnson’s Baby study shows the following: 54% of mums have gone for 24 hours without sleep due to a wakeful baby, 44% say they don’t even feel like talking to anyone due to exhaustion, 72% say tiredness has put a strain on their relationship with their partner, 28% believe tiredness has affected their relationship with family and 27% say the exhaustion also impacts on their relationships with their friends. As a result, almost a third of mums are suffering from feelings of loneliness.