Time: own it!Relax. We don’t do it enough. With our increasingly busy schedules, it tends gets pushed to one side, but at what risk? Read on and you’ll find that taking time out is an essential right – not a guilty luxury. |
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When I was having trouble adjusting to motherhood I spoke to a counsellor who asked me how my days were filled. After listening to the list, he asked: “where’s your me-time? You need time to yourself that isn’t dedicated to your family, work or the house.” This is surprisingly hard to find, especially when the unspecified sense of panic at things undone keeps you on your toes. And for busy parents, there is always something to do. If it’s not the endless demands of housekeeping, it’s the unanswered emails and mounting bills (or the understairs cupboard of domestic despair). Oh, and then there’s the kids, of course.
Body and Soul
But if we don’t make the effort to slow down, we could be risking our health. A raised heart rate and high blood pressure puts tension on arteries, and the link between stress and heart disease is well-documented. Exaggerated emotional responses are also an often unwelcome side-effect of being over-stressed, along with panic attacks and the sense of disorientation. As Buddha said: ‘Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.’
All in the Mind
Stress is also associated with mental health problems and, in particular, anxiety and depression. Here the relationship is fairly clear and explains why the simplest decision can seem unmanageable when you’re run ragged. But just an hour completely on your own can still the mind and put problems in proportion.
Sponsored links
Before jumping into the joys of time alone, you first need to free up those minutes – and know how to spend them! Stick this list on your fridge as a reminder.
Pressure cooking?
Why not free up some time and leave oven-cleaning to a professional. If you’re anything like us you get fed-up half way through and don’t do a proper job anyway. What a waste of time. So get someone to do it for you. We found the Oven Clean service, which uses non-caustic fume-free products. And if you don’t like, you don’t pay!
Call Peter & Sue on 01905 830375.
Look, no baby!
Taking time out is an order, and we don’t want to hear ‘can’t find a babysitter’ as an excuse. Because Worcester has Ciccionas babysitting service, which guarantees lovely, police-checked regular sitters at a moment’s notice, so you can go and have some peace (and peace of mind) or party… you know, how you used to…
Call Sarah on 01905 424796.
Clean ideas
How much are you worth? A cleaner doesn’t cost the earth – less than a movie ticket, cheaper than a massage (unless you have a house with ‘wings’). So ditch the chores and use that time a little more constructively – or de-constructively.
Fivestar can do a spick-and-span job.
Tell them our office needs a clean when you call Lyn: 01905 21455 or 07875 322582.
Tearing away
Having a child leaves you feeling raw and vulnerable and you need time to recover from that. But when your baby is little, it can seem quite alien if you’re apart for even half an hour. Like you’ve left your arm somewhere. It’s important to adjust to this feeling of separateness in small, gradual doses. Ask your partner or a family member to watch over him or her for half an hour, then an hour, until you get confident with their babysitting abilities and get to enjoy the me behind the mum.
It’s all about me
Every couple enters the chore-war, whether they’re aware of it or not. I earn the mortgage; yes, but I do the housework; but you don’t know what I go through; but I’m up all night… There’s no winner in a fight fuelled with fatigue and confusion. If you’re at home with kids all day you may resent that your partner gets to pee without interruption – but your partner may be too pressured by responsibility to understand why that’s a problem. Arrange to cover each other even for once a week, just for half an hour’s peace – of mind, body and spirit.
Me-time tactics
• Many alternative health practitioners will do home visits. Arrange for a shiatsu or reflexology treatment after the kids are asleep.
• Can the budget bend even a little? Paying a cleaner is cheaper than a spa treatment (or a bottle of gin!) and will lighten your load.
• Take turns with a mum chum to look after each other’s kids for a couple of hours week. After all, if you’ve got a couple, what’s another one if you can offload yours in exchange?
• Put them in front of Cbeebies, just for five, for a no-tv take, a big box of art supplies, and grab some you time away from the noise. As the ad says: "you’re worth it."
