Life in the Freezer Summertime, and the living is sticky. And, if we’re honest, we don’t mind. Lollies are, after all, a great way for keeping kids quiet for five.

But oh the guilt when you add the weeks of e-number numbing popcicles, the visits to the cold-ice bike man on the sightseeing route, the oh-all-right-thens at the ice-cream van in the city centre; the sugar that superglues their hair to their chins and courses through their veins is enough to send them willy wonka.... But we’ve come up with some cunning alternatives.

 

Rocket Science

Layers are exciting and easily created by freezing in stages. Fresh-squeezed fruit juices make some great opaque colours – we tried fresh apple with carton cranberry juice, and fresh strawberry and kiwi stripes. The kids suggested the latter tasted a bit organic (we left the pith in) but apart from wearing some of it across their faces, they were all consumed! Try your own concoctions. If you make small lollies, in espresso cups, for instance, like we did, they freeze fast. So you can get the kids involved as a pre-lunch activity and by mid-afternoon they can be eating their creations. The more layers the more kafuffle – so best made in big batches!

Fun cream
When it comes to ice-cream, it doesn’t have to be Walls to Walls brands. Make your own – the kids will have great fun, creating their own flavours and you’ll know that there’ll be nothing to scream about.
You’ll need •1 tablespoon Sugar •1/2 cup Milk •1/4 teaspoon vanilla or other flavouring • 6 tablespoons Rock salt •1 pint-size Ziploc plastic bag •1 gallon-size Ziploc plastic bag • Ice cubes
Fill the large bag half full of ice, and add the rock salt. Seal the bag. Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag, and seal it. Place the small bag inside the large one and seal again carefully. Shake until mixture is ice cream, about 5 minutes. Wipe off top of small bag, then open carefully and enjoy!
You can add food colouring, essences, choc-chips and sweets, for a cassata or tutti frutti-style ice cream. And there’s no reason why you shouldn’t try herbs. Basil ice-cream is delish!

The big chill
Come on, it’s obvious. Freeze stuff. Juice or squash – practically anything! If you don’t have a proper lolly mould, use cups or old yoghurt pots! There’s no excuse really; sticks don’t stand up? Well, cover with pots with cling-film, pierce hole in the middle and feed your lollypop sticks through. Cool.

A Yog Never Hurt!
Call it ice-cream and they really won’t know the difference.
No effort: buy some of those yoghurt tubes (Frubes, Choobs, Tubes etc…). Freeze, squeeze and please!
Little effort: buy a ‘tray’ of yoghurts or fromage frais, poke lolly sticks right through the lids and put in the freezer. Then snap individuals from the tray when you need them, peel the lid off, up and over the stick and yoggy lollies are go! Keep the pots as holders for when kids momentarily need both hands.
Bit of effort: make multi-layered ones by choosing fromage frais of different flavours and colours – try enhancing with vibrant food colouring. They may even think it’s bad for them.

Quick ‘n’ Chilled
These are easy-peasy ideas. And we suggest disguising their health-quotient by calling them strange names.
Nice Ice: fill a lolly mould (or improvise) with water and whole fresh raspberries and freeze. The result is a clear ice lolly and frozen berries that look like pretty flowers. A great in-between meals (or lollies) alternative. Try it with frozen peas too, and call it Bogie Ice. Anything that works!
Bunchas: grapes in the freezer make naturally sugary ice-crunches!
Yell-Ohs: cut up some bananas, push in sticks and put them on a plate in the freezer for a couple of hours. Then dip in something sticky – chocolate syrup, treacle or honey and roll them in hundreds&thousands or nuts. Or just eat naked (the nanas, that is). Lovely and creamy.
Kebabulicks: feed grapes, pieces of banana and strawberries onto a skewer and pop into the freezer for a couple of hours. The kids will be so quiet you could call it a shush-lick…(sorry).

Finger Licking – no, really!
But if your child already has the Walls range memorised, then whipping out home-froze lemon-squash may not cut the mustard. In this case, there’s nothing for it but Novelty. Try this: we call it TheFrozenHandShake!
Fill a non-powdered latex or rubber glove (if using Marigolds, turn them inside out) with a lolly liquid of your choice. Fill it to just above the wrist and no more to take the water expansion. Tie the top with a rubber band but squeeze the air out of the remaining empty part of the glove first. Leave to freeze overnight for a really firm handshake. To remove glove, run under tepid water until it slips off or cut it away.
* We have not researched any health implications of food-rubber/latex contact so if you have any concerns please don’t do this. And if you suffer any side-effects, please don’t sue us. This is just something we tried and tested and loved. And so far, we’re still alive.

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please note

We guarantee all the above suggestions are NOT expensive, overly laborious or impossible. The Roundabout team has less inclination than Oliver to be artful or crafty – and we did it!

Whatever you do, don’t treat home-made lollies to extra sugar or lemonade! This is the chance to do away with decay!