Wake-up Callif they’re sleeping, why wake them? By Rachel Delahaye YOU MAY FEEL LIKE A USED TEABAG, but ask any mother of a toddler and she’ll tell you you’ve got it easy. Your newborn lies there looking cute while hers does a demolition job on the upholstery. But while the indelible on the Kath Kidston print tablecloth is a worry, you’re wringing your hands at the making – or breaking – of a very different pattern. Sleep. |
Sleeping Like Babies
Newborn babies sleep a lot. For some it’s a blessing: time for a bath, a cuppa and a sanity check. But for others, a baby’s dedication to dreamland causes concern and naturally they seek a reaction.
“If you are worried about your baby, of course you can wake her to make sure she is okay,” says Jodi Mindell, author of Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night’s Sleep (HarperCollins). “You’ll likely regret waking her five minutes later, but you will be reassured.”
“But if baby is breathing steadily and looks a good colour there’s no reason to worry,” adds Dr Pat Spungin, founder of raisingkids.co.uk. “And you can expect a newborn to sleep for up to 16.5hrs a day.”
It’s understandable that a new mum will be hypersensitive – after all there is no manual, and in most cases well-meaning advice is only relative to their experience. But babies do tend to have periods of long-lasting light sleep. It’s a mechanism designed to help them get rest, but wake easily when they’re uncomfortable or hungry. It’s ingenious, although not particularly helpful if you’ve chosen to follow a routine… because juggling waking hours with numbers of planned feeds per day – well, it’s just another sleep sudoku.
Babies will usually, naturally wake every three to four hours, but unless you’re wielding the feeding spoon of schedule, Gail Johnson, from the Royal College of Midwives, suggests only waking them for food if the child has gone five to six hours straight, to avoid short-interval feeding at night. And when it comes to those darker hours, most would suggest you let sleeping babies lie.
“I would never wake a baby in the night, as this would disturb their natural body rhythm setting to a pattern that replicates ours,” says Chireal Shallow, founder of Naturally Nurturing Sleep Clinic.
WAKE! If your child is showing signs of distress. Call your doctor.
DON’T! Just because visitors want to interact – babies need sleep!
When Nippers Nod Off
Once you’ve started ageing them in months rather than weeks the periods of babies’ wakefulness start to expand and it’s not a case of if and when they feed – rather if and when you’re ever likely to sleep again.
Now’s the time parents start to scratch their heads over how many sleeps a child needs and for how long. And while that child is slumbering so beautifully it’s tempting to relive the salad days of the newborn era, pick up a magazine and just let them doze.
It’s a rather tiring time of trial and error. But most would feel indefinite sleep is definitely a recipe for disaster, and despite varying ‘techniques’ most parenting gurus do agree on two daytime naps for babies over three months, with a shorter 30-minute nap in the morning and a longer one, approximately two hours, at lunchtime. The theory being that by 7pm they’ll be ready for an all-nighter. Fingers crossed.
WAKE! Don’t let tiddlers sleep more than three hours in the afternoon!
DON’T! When ill, children may require longer sleeps. Contact your doctor.
Toddling Off to Bed
By the age of four there will have been some bedtime resolution. Mum would like a full night’s sleep with a lie in till eight, kid puts in a bid of a six o’clock rise with a possible midnight waking; and they meet somewhere in the middle. But just because the night’s more or less sorted, doesn’t mean that sleep is done and dusted.
Daytime naps are a bit of a conundrum. Many children need them right up till they start school, but how much can you give them during daylight hours without compromising their regular bedtime?
“It is important for children, especially young children, to get the right amount of sleep as this will effect growth, function and emotional states,” says Chireal. “But I would suggest not letting a toddler sleep later than 3pm. If they fall asleep near 3pm I’d let them have a 30-minute power nap.”
Although there’s no right and wrong, the general consensus is that you have to ration daytime sleep. And some would say cut out the sleep altogether and suffer the crankies. One argument against that, however, is that overtiredness can trigger nightmares. But as children’s imaginations blossom, monsters creep into dreams regardless.
Waking a dreaming child might make the parent feel better, but gentle soothing will often do the trick. Or letting it pass. Night terrors, which can involve violent screaming and thrashing, are unbearable for the helpless parent. But consolation is generally futile. “It’s much better to let the night terror end on its own,” says Jodi Mindell. “Trying to wake a child during a night terror usually results in making it worse and it lasting longer.”
Severe cases of night terrors often occur like clockwork, and waking your child briefly, about half an hour before the terror, appears to break the chain. But do seek professional advice if your child has them regularly.
WAKE! A very late riser. It could be a sign he’s not getting enough sleep, so work in a nap or an earlier bedtime time to compensate.
DON’T! If you hear him chatting in his sleep – he’s just practising his vocab! Wake-up Call if they’re sleeping, why wake them?
* also published in Practical Parenting magazine
BOOB SNOOZE
Some breastfeeding mums might experience the boob snooze, where no sooner have you placed your baby on the breast and he’s dropped off. ‘Snackers’ can be infuriating to a mum who has aspirations above the sofa, but is this a good reason to give him a milk-shake? “It really depends on how long it is since the last feed and whether you’re concerned about his health,” says Gail Johnson. “If he’s well – normal temperature, weeing and pooing as usual – then it’s not such an issue. But if he’s missing out on feeds or has diarrhoea then you might want to wake him. Take a layer off, talk to him or change his nappy to wake him up.” If his sleeping and snacking is affecting milk supply then contact your midwife for advice.
